The Great Beyond 101

When I wrote, "The Great Beyond 101", I was five years out of having spent the prior 25 years in a Christian church, where I was tossed around by every wind of doctrine a lot. I was afraid most of the time - I developed a strong bubble around myself which rather than protect and shield me only isolated me in my fear and insecurity. At one point, after I was in the church a handful of years, I was told that I was a demonic spirit...fear and demons went hand in hand in the church. I begged to be allowed to come back into the fold. I was allowed back in. I eventually married a a great guy. I became a ministry. I had position and standing. I was still very, very, insecure and afraid. In 1992 the great guy and I divorced. I left the group in 1995 for good. Still clueless -- still ruled by fear and still very alone. Sin is a powerful tool. In 2002 I moved from being a lifer in California to a small town in southern Vermont. I took my orange tabby, Gilda, with me, along with my accessories, fear and isolation. Yep still resident and my ongoing challenge but I live in a lovely little town, having four seasons, new friends and family and five years ago I bought my first home. Not too shabby and continual proof to me that my great beyond is bigger than my fear. About two years ago I began to dig deeper into those years. I was in some big denial about the church. When my therapist used the "Cult" word I said, "No, we were not a cult. We were a family - fellow seekers. It was my fault. I was damaged. That got the exposure ball rolling. Anger, shame blame flooded me. Mostly anger that I allowed myself to be treated like a slave. Dealing with those memories is an ongoing process. I do daily diligence inside myself because the shame and blame of those years inside and out pops up like clockwork. Some of the people I blamed are gone now. Many others still walk around and I suspect are dealing with their own shame and blame. The churches are no more but the memories do not die. Nowadays, I have better tools to diminish the force of those memories. Shame withers us and makes us hide. I have been hidden for many years. There was this little Filipino guy in one of the Hawaiian churches, who used to say, "We are the lights of the world." Yep...we are and always have been. The world has turned itself upside down since COVID. What a crazy opportunity to discover the power of our own selves...well there's always opportunities but this global mass event is pushing the envelope. Enjoy my labor of love. You'll laugh you'll cry and mostly I hope, like me, you will begin to rest in being human in the midst of the craziness. I am astounded that I was able to download this book all those years ago but it just goes to show ya that the great beyond of us is US and that we are all quite inviolate and truly safe and always have been. Trust now. Faith for the future. Love to Us all, Lynda