Christen E

Selling Holes Christen E

After completing some of these stories I had to take a cold shower and get a chiropractic adjustment. For some of the others I was interned in the local psychiatric hospital, which was fortunately run by scantily clad nubile Indonesian maids, so I survived. This book comprises some of my most experimental and simply mental short stories. Saturn Fried Chicken is a nutty satirical comment on the idiot-world's obsession with fried chicken. The story, Diary of a Bureaucrat makes fun of... you know who! Other stories, such as Ocean Horses and Bird World, are beautiful and twisted alien visions. Whereas many of the stories are just insane dialogues inviting comments such as, "Get off the drugs man!" See Relatives, Impossible Equations and Confused Verbs. But like Salvador Dali once explained: the truly surreal-minded do not need drugs for inspiration - they are 'high' by nature. One of my favorite stories here is Selling Holes, which explores an outrageous possibility that results in a definitive philosophy. I've broken many rules (some of my stories invent new words while others have no conclusion) and then baked them into lobster-shaped cupcakes. I attempt to leap over writing conventions and conventional thought - in one audacious story an artist explains what nonsense numbers are!Here you will find masterpieces of unadulterated madness. One of the craziest stories ever written has got to be Janet and John for advanced maniacs! In a similar vein, stories like How to Survive a Hotel Fire and Weird Fact or Fiction are plainly Monty Pythonesque! These are stories for those who will defy warnings, swim naked in the ocean, are bored out of their minds, laugh hysterically in the middle of Lawyer's conventions, make faces at themselves in the mirror, want their neurons assaulted, and drink beer while bungee jumping...