Patrick Farnon

What McClafferty Did Patrick Farnon

A TONIC FOR DESPERATE READERS IN DESPERATE TIMES. These unexpurgated tales of Bones-the-Dog McClafferty, mastermind behind the Chiang Kai-shek Gold Bond Scam, reveal how he was also involved in a bunch of other mind-bending stuff during his misspent existence. And how, accompanied by his faithful (psychic) mutt Rupert, he continually evaded Probation Officer attempts to rehabilitate him as he rubbed shoulders with a host of other misfits and crazies afloat in troubled times in the Scottish Badlands. Scrupulously researched, they include the lowdown on how F*** Sake Harry topped the Kinky Kash twins. How bum and vagrant, Hughie the Bear got elected mayor of Sunny Groodge. And how McClafferty got caught up in the nappy hysteria when half the city denizens regressed to infancy and started wearing diapers. His chequered career ( pieced together from horse's mouth revelations and eye-witness accounts) reveal new aspects to the man. Driving force behind the nationwide Sunny Dog Haircut and Shampoo Parlours, he was hired by Victoria Teague to investigate the scandalous Blue Diamond affair involving psycho Horseshoe McCann and sleezy Duke of Magoiyle. Under the hypnotic spell of the tasty vamp's charms, he nearly went under. Till investigative reporters at Tits & Bums revealed Victoria was into S& M big time. And specialized in horsewhipping clients with barbed wire. In the dungeons under the mayor's office. But it was not all bad. He also helped locate Mrs. McGreevy's runaway parrot, got legendary sheriff of Sunny Groodge, Lobey Dosser historically rehabilitated after his tomb (and his two legged-horse Fidelo) was unearthed deep under the city. Unstoppable, destined for greatness, the Great Sunburst that blew out the city energy grid, scuppered his aspirations. No conclusive evidence has been uncovered by the author of Rupert's alleged psychic powers. Ditto his gift of the second sight. So far