Keith Warren

The Asparagus Encounters Keith Warren

Eating this phallic vegetable can have unfortunate consequences. Asparagus tastes good - if you like asparagus, of course - but a short while after you've eaten it, your urine stinks. Nevertheless, you come back for more next time. How perverse is that? People smoke cigarettes or drink too much alcohol even though Science has told us we are risking cancer or some other terminal ailment. Most things in life have consequences. They do not necessarily have to be unpleasant; after all, that would make all our lives a stream of unrelenting misery and discomfort. But in many cases, the consequences of our choices and decisions are not what we intended, or they are unexpected or even downright disastrous. Sometimes, with a little more caution and thought, we might have seen the likelihood of the unpleasant circumstances before we started. Or perhaps we do recognise the possibility of misfortune or heartbreak or whatever...and we go ahead anyway. Sometimes, a decision is made by someone else and our lives are flipped into an unexpected direction; in this case, we have no choice but may have to suffer consequences anyway. In his characteristic acerbic, witty and sometimes vulgar style, the author has put together a varied collection of pieces inspired by this theme. Now eat up your vegetables!